i feel fucking terrible.

:D

but tell me how this is even remotely fair.

i should be stronger and i wish i could be

chay, why do you keep doing this to yourself?

well fuck

nothing hurts worse than learning you can’t fix what was broken because it’s not even there anymore.

sorry that i didn’t…
um…
no, wait, i forgot, i did EVERYTHING RIGHT.

so… 

like a punch to the gut only so much worse

*punches self in face*

*repeatedly* 

it’s so weird to give it a quantification.

i am being ignored.
she is ignoring me.
like.
full-on and intentional.

at first i really did think it was just, you know, space. just needing space or something. i don’t know. maybe it’s still just that. but this feels a bit more plotted and planned. this seems a bit more in general.

i don’t know, maybe i’m reading entirely too much into this.
either way, i’m tired.