well i’m really glad it was all just a waste of time, energy and emotion, then.

what the actual fuck.

but tell me how this is even remotely fair.

i should be stronger and i wish i could be

chay, why do you keep doing this to yourself?

it’s so weird to give it a quantification.

i am being ignored.
she is ignoring me.
like.
full-on and intentional.

at first i really did think it was just, you know, space. just needing space or something. i don’t know. maybe it’s still just that. but this feels a bit more plotted and planned. this seems a bit more in general.

i don’t know, maybe i’m reading entirely too much into this.
either way, i’m tired. 

i’m having all these weird conflicting feelings because i think i have a crush and i want to have sex tonight (not with that crush, sadly that’s not an option) and there will be the opportunity for sex tonight 

but, like, feels like cheating

even though it’s not at all

i don’t know

i miss you so much it hurts inside and out.